Empty heart.

I wonder if anyone really loved me. Because I'm more than sure that I've never felted it. I never really cared in my life, never have anything more than a crush, and never tried to have a relationship. Life's so empty when you realize that all that you have's a selfish and jealousy look in your face when you see that the world around live in love.

I'm tired of waking up in the midle of night just to realize that I'm all alone.

Maybe I'm just like this stupid girls that likes to throw her lifes away. You know, that ones that never have something more with anyone, that just keep flirting until they realize that it don't make hers happy anymore.

I don't want something in my life, I want someone. I know that it's stupid and naive, but someday I wanna wake up and look someone in eyes and just know everything that I never knew before.

Fuel.

I don't really remember how love's suppost to feel. Right now it's just paintful, boring, and sick. It's turned out to be a heavy weight in my weak shoulders. It's not just love, you know; it's every single piece of kindness, aprecciacion & smile and kisses that lost your way.

Sometimes I don't even feel love or empathy, but this time I can't let it go without putting it in letters that never gonna be read again. I don't even want you again, but my heart feels so heavy and full sometimes that every heartbeat breaks me apart.

Love's my drug, for the good or for the worst. It's my fuel, brings me back to life just to let me fall.
Love's a find a way that lost it final destination and can't fade away.

I'm sorry for being so dumb.

Now I know the truth that I was trying to deny to myself: It was you, it's always been you. You're the one that could complete me and be my person, and I could've been yours most ardently loved one. But I was dumb, really dumb. So freaking dumb in letting you go before the start of our story.

I let a closed mind tell what to do, and what to feel about you. And my heart, oh my poor heart I shutted even before he tried to say hi to you. I was dumb, really dumb. That was my mistake, and now it's the most paintul thing that lives in the deepest place of my soul.

I try to scream how much I miss you in every single way, but all that comes out of my mouth is a humming that trys to call you, but it's so quiet and weird that it's hushed by the sound of the wind blowing through a empty room. But even after it I still have hopes, and think a lot about finding you in a random street in a random day, and then you randomly fall in love for me like the first time.

And before it I hope that I've has stop from being dumb, and then finally give you more than a quiet and intense look of love, so that way you could finally be the everything in my life.

Seasons of a life.

   In these cold days I remember of you, and somehow it's warms me up like it was yours arms hugging me for the first time. But I miss your tongue more than yours arms around me, I miss your taste so much that it hurts me everytime I try to recreate your bittersweet flavor against my fragile tongue. I hate the way I miss you more than anything, and how you completed me in every single way, even in my crazyness.

   Never in my hole life I knew how was love like, but now I know, it's awful. It makes me want to go back time and space just to have you a little longer, or to make you smile one more time. Now all I have is a empty room, and a cup of tea with tears.

   Do you remember when everything was good and colorful? 'Cuz I remember every single second of that time, and how your handsome face dazzled me being my view from heaven. But now I'm just a blind child with blood instead of tears in the eyes, rubbing then and trying to love the phosphenes that reminds me of you.


   So the time passed by, and you get bored of me. You walked away, and silly the way I'm, I just left you go. The end came and we didn't even said goodbye. I still look at my hands were yours was placed, and bruise myself trying to recreate the warm of yours. Now I'm nobody, my heart's empty, and my fingertips are made of scars. My mind's locked in a early winter that looks that gonna last forever. There's no sunlight in my life, and the light of this twilight of mine isn't made of stars anymore.

   I'm sorry, but this is the end of everything. My wait finally has an end, with my Sun body and soul getting frozen. Now that I lost everything, I'm sendind all my love to you.

Oh my darling, now you can be afraid.

Once upon a time,
Everything was in the right place.
It was before you. Before your attitude conquers me.
Oh darling, look how much messy you left me.

The new me is like a hurricane, all because of you.
Can't you see what you did? Can't you take off what blinds you?
Oh my darling, come alive. You know what you did to me.
You're such a thief in this game.

All I wanna do you is make you lose your calm.
Let me play with your mind the way you did with mine.
I wanna make you wanna scream for help everytime you think about me.

Let the hurt and bruises teach you to not play with empty hearts.
Play with fire is more safe that with my messy mind.

One more thing, don't say before that I didn't tell you about it.
I will hurt, I will makes you fall-over-heels, and my hushed voice will sing you to sleep.
And even after all of it, finally I will make you cry calling you mommy, and when you do it, you will know that this is the price that you pay when you plays with the calm before the storm.

You.

And there you come, so pretty, so classy. I can imagine yours lips calling my name over and over again. Even when you're moody, you can make the hole world stops to admire your prettiness. Bones to flesh, you're someting that makes everyone wants a little more. Rainbows come to tears for you, alfa and omega of the universe jump of happiness because of you. How come someone so weak and tiny makes it to everything?

It must be a inside joke of some God, that makes everything that was called freak blossom into something gorgeous. Like lotus, you just came up showing that all the dirty in the world can't pollutes yours delicated skin. You're made of the most perfect code. In the infinite never again will ever live something better than you.

Oh my darling, stop from running to be someone Clementine and accept the love that you deserve. Nothing will hurt you, cuz you are stronger than you think. You're the star that shines, not the one that falls apart. You're unique.

The starry night of one star & one lover.

Good morning sunshine.
No, goodnight moonlight.
Oh, wait, now you're a falling star.
Should I start to run looking for you now?
Please, wait for me, I need to find my jar of wishes.

I need to have you only for me.
The world could not see you, 'cuz he gonna try to change you.
He doesn't know how to love something the way it is.

The only way that he knows how to be kind, is putting flowers in your grave.

Shh. Don't scream it, it's bad, it's ugly.

"Give me some rose, and I gonna be yours forever."

I said: "Shh." Hush down, and be calm.
I know that it looks like it gonna last forever, but it's fake.

Please, don't leave me. Don't you remember that year?

Oh. It's looks like I'm the only one that remember of it.
It started with a cold summer, and ended in a hot & carnal winter.

No, now the sun is coming to find me.
I wasted all night trying to make you love me, but it's might be impossible.
So take all the feelings that you want from me. I don't need love anymore.

And please, send to me one invite to your funeral.
I will give you in your death a rose.
'Cuz by that way you gonna make my wish come true.